Sunday, June 19, 2005
Where they really get you is the soda...
Ok so today was a pretty emotional day. I planned to sleep in, but apparently that was not in the cards. I found myself wandering around the house at about 9 am after lemorse left looking at all the stuff that I still needed to pack and the sink full of dishes that had been the dividing line of what seemed to be a mexican standoff for a week. I made myself a bagel and dove into trying to clean up the kitchen a bit. To make matters worse I had the American Idol finale music running through my head because I had let my soap opera tape run while I went to sleep and I ended up dreaming about Bo Bice and Carrie Underwood singing to me in their underwear....very odd indeed, maybe I need to stay away from the Bahama Mama wine coolers before bed....but I digress. Anyway, to get myself motivated I put on my Three Doors Down cd which I found in the cd player and got to work. When I finished doing the dishes I moved over to the shotglasses and barware that I needed to pack up. When we first moved in I found a whole bunch of really neat old decanters on ebay and bought them (ostensibly for lemorse, but I was always planning on them being on my bar.....but thats another story). I had mentioned that I was thinking that I wanted one of them to him last week and he didn't really seem happy about it but he said ok. Then I put off the decision because I had an internal quarrel with myself about if it was the right thing to do (yeah they were all a gift but I'm only asking for one and I left him with most of the stuff) The one I wanted reminded me of my grandfather's old cars and I eventually decided that I would take it and wrapped it up. I sorted out some of our other stuff and left him the pepsi stuff (we did our kitchen in a 50's diner style...or we attempted to at least). Anyways, by this point its almost 1 o'clock and he is just showing up with his parents and sister to get the rest of his stuff to move down into his new storage unit. I thought I was strong enough to handle it today, I had been doing really well for the last week or so. He came in and said his parents were here with him and I kinda snapped but mostly because I was confused as to why he would announce it, as if I wasn't expecting them. But he wouldn't/couldn't explain what he meant so we let it go. Don't get me wrong. I love his family. They are wonderful people and have always made me feel as if I was part of their family. This was probably why it was particularly hard for me today, because I really loved that feeling and now I have to get used to it being different. I grabbed another Bahama Mama wine cooler and tried to compose myself. I almost made it through until I stood there and watched him moving stuff on the patio to get the doghouse of our dearly departed puppy so that they could move it. Thats when it hit me (again) that this is really happening, and that nothing is ever going to be the same again (which in some ways is good, but in some ways is REALLY depressing). I went back to the bedroom, willing myself not to make a scene and managed to compose myself. His mom needed to use the bathroom so I helped her get through our maze of crap and picked up the phone to call my parents to tell them I had decided I was coming up early for father's day. After I got on the phone his mom took me aside and said "I want to talk to you. I just want to let you know that no matter what is happening right now or in the future you are a part of this family and always will be
I know that this is hard, and I gather that this is going to be the way it is for a while (or a pretty long time....I am really paraphrasing this because I was blubbering all over myself during this part) but maybe this is what you need to grow (she indicated grow up not out or apart)." Anyway, we hugged and she made me promise that I would take care of myself and keep taking my medicine. I tried to compose myself as best I could but I knew that I had to get away for a while. As luck would have it, I realized that my prescription would be ready at the pharmacy (can you believe its been 30 days since I started taking it???) and decided to run out to pick it up. As I was driving home (I got diverted because the bastards in Sacramento don't know how to drive and wouldn't let me get over so I ended up having to take the freeway up to the next exit and.....well thats another story nevermind) I got a call saying that they were leaving and would be back later today to get another load. When I got home I started packing my stuff still well aware that I have A LOT of packing left to do and I got all my stuff out to the car and started my drive. I just needed time to think in a confined space where I wouldn't be wandering through memorys (good and bad). The drive worked well and as I was coming up to the halfway point of the drive I realized I was hungry. I was REALLY craving Taco Bell. For those of you who don't know I LOVE ME SOME TACO BELL! I seriously have loved that place since I was like 3. This brings me to the title of my post (I bet you were wondering how that fit in....trust me, I'm not completely losing my mind yet, I have a point). Did you realize that you can get a serious amount of food at Taco Bell with 5 bucks.....its crazy. I have come to realize that where fast food places get you is with the drink (except Jack in the Box, they are just frickin expensive all the way around). Sure the food isn't good for you but you could get two or three meals out of 6 bucks (which incidently is what I had on me) if you plan right. And really, the best things I have had at Taco Bell are the simple things such as a bean burrito or nachos with jalapenos. Anyway, I digress. I usually get the same thing everytime I go to Taco Bell but today I was feeling adventurous and decided to go out on a limb for a club chalupa (kinda expensive at 1.99) and let me tell you DAMN is that thing good. If I had known I would have liked it I would have gotten two instead of getting the cheapo spicy chicken burrito (which was ok......). Anyway, where was I going with this? Oh yeah soda....I spent less than 5 bucks and couldn't finish the food I ordered (I was feeling piggy because all I had to eat today was a bagel and grape jelly and a bahama mama wine cooler) but had I gotten a drink I would have had to give up the slightly crunchy goodness that is the club chalupa. And did you notice that all the fast food restaurants increased their cup size a couple years back? No longer can you get a small, you have to get what used to be a medium passing as a small. I am telling you they did this just so they could start charging more money for their damn addictive soda. Ok, I'm done now. I just realized how long this post is and feel the need to apologize for rambling on and on about nothing really. But then again, it is my blog and thats really what it is for so in that case :P :P :P :P :P