Wednesday, June 01, 2005
Thank God for Prozac
I feel it starting to kick in, and I would just like to thank whatever heavenly deity decided to send my but to the doctor two weeks ago for some medicine. As it turns out my boyfriend The Walrus decided that in the interest of sanity he did not want to renew our lease. While we have had our problems, I really was not prepared for this. I always thought you worked out problems but as it turns out the lack of communication that I was feeling was coming from him and I had no clue what was truely going on in his head. Guess that accounts for the feeling that he was indifferent to me and using me. Before I go any further I would like to clarify that these were the feelings that came to my mind as he was breaking up with me after my A&P final (sidenote: I got a B in A&P! Woo). Not to mention before a 6 day camping trip that we had been planning. What a way to go into a vacation. Now after my 6 day break and an extra week on the prozac I have come to terms with the whole situation. As I dropped off the face of the earth for a week (sort of) I am still fielding the friends and family "how you doing" questions which I would like to say that I really appreciate. I will clarify for anybody reading this I am doing better. I am still very sad and feel a bit let down because while he says that he is going through life changes it seems to me that the only thing he is changing is me. Nothing else in his life seems to be being modified and I still have the nagging suspicions that are only paranoia until I'm proven right ;-) In the end I have come to terms with the fact that I really do have some things to work out on my own and that this is the best thing for both of us. I am still a bit ambivilent (or is it hesitant) about the whole friendship thing he wants. In the end I have to stop worrying and sacrificing for others and take care of myself and that is what I intend to do. I'll keep you posted on how that goes.