My Music

Thursday, August 04, 2005

I'm hanging in, I'm hangin out, and hangin on!

It has been a very rough week for me. I am really looking forward to getting together with my girlfriends (that includes you Shawn) this weekend. I can't really afford to go to Stockton (I just made my budget tonight) but I think that if I don't I will spend the next couple weeks in a catatonic state. Work is going ok, although I am having problems with several of my usernames and passwords which prevented me from taking my first calls today. That bummed me out because I really wanted to see how ready I actually am. After work I visited a really cozy coffee house in downtown Chico. While I was there I finished reading my Harry Potter book. It is still not my favorite of the set, but I do think it is my second favorite. I was not surprised by the ending even though it did not end exactly the way I thought it would. I won't say anymore so that I don't give it away to anyone who hasn't finished.

I have been feeling very down in the dumps since the weekend. It wasn't a successfully relaxing weekend with my parents fighting, and some news I received. I ended up giving up on the friendship idea with the ex for various reasons that I am not going to go into here, and I have just been feeling really ugly lately for no apparent reason (well maybe there are a few but they aren't really important). I just feel really lonely and out of it. It's definitely true what they say about not being able to go home again. I have tried to revisit some of my past "homes" in the last couple of months and it really hasn't worked. It is even worse when you realize this sentiment in the MIDDLE of trying to regain what you once felt. Alls well, it is all for the best anyway. If it is true that it takes twice the length of your relationship to truly heal I have a long way to go anyway. I hope it gets easier because I don't know how many more weeks like this I can handle.

Quote of the day:

Early on, I resigned myself to being in the dark on all but the most important things, she said, & it's not such a bad thing because you don't see a lot of the stuff you usually get anxious about.


Cjristina said...

I was told that's it half the time that you were together. Not twice. I don't know if it's true though.

Shan'Chelle said...

Oh good......well either way thats a long time