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Monday, July 04, 2005

You are getting sleepy...



As you can see from the above picture, Dorito is adjusting well to her new environment and is making up on the sleep that I am missing :-). I think I am going to have to get her completely shaved. It is so frickin hot up here (for at least the next couple months) and she is panting up a storm it seems. We shaved her belly last week and it helped a bit to keep her cool but not enough. Also, she has taken to rolling in the weeds and poison oak and gets it stuck in her fur (and then she won't let me take it out). I am tired of petting my baby and hurting my had from all the stickers she has in her.

It’s been a crazy couple of days. I had to leave the apartment on Friday morning knowing that I was never coming back. I had so much trouble doing that. Luckily for me Le Morse did the majority of the clean up and took care of dropping off the keys (which I'm sure he'll post about) because I don't think that I could have handled it. I was already pretty emotional. I also owe Cjristina for all the help she gave; you're the best! Anyway, now I'm up in Chico getting settled and trying to relax. Today I realized that there might be other reasons fate has sent me here. Grandma is not doing very well at all. We had a big scare today when dad had a hard time waking her up (she fell asleep in front of the computer) and we thought we had lost her. This brought me to the realization that while my parents are doing me a big favor helping me get my life together, I might be here to take care of my mother who is absolutely going to lose it when grandma goes. We also found out that my uncle's ex girlfriend in South Dakota is in the hospital after battling breast cancer for over a year and only has a few days to live. I know that death comes in threes and have been trying to ignore the funny feeling in the pit of my stomach and the worry I have over my grandmother. I guess when she was diagnosed about a year ago the doctor estimated only a year left. We feel the clock running out and aren't nearly as prepared as we should be for the inevitable. Anyway, enough of the depressing stuff. Now that I am actually here and settling in I feel like I am in a good place. We went to the Hospice thrift store where I donated three big bags of clothes and found some self help books. With how addicted I am to these self help books you would think I would be much more mentally well myself. Maybe that is why I am so attracted to these books, because my brain is craving "normality" whatever that may be. Who knows? I was very impressed with the hospice thrift store and as they are looking for volunteers I am thinking of helping out. I'll post more about that later if I decide to do it. I am also finding myself more interested in learning things now. I pulled my guitar out of the car and was talking to my dad about it. I found out that he had always wanted to learn how to play the guitar too and I also found out that my guitar is horribly out of tune. That got me to thinking that I would really like to take a guitar class. Driving to town we went by the little "grand canyon" just outside of a town called Paradise. It was so beautiful that I wished I had a camera and then I started thinking about taking a photography class. I will definitely be looking into all of these things and any number of other things that cross my mind. I have realized that life is too short and I have to start putting myself first. It is harder for me than you can imagine :-) I guess that is all I have to say for now, hope everyone is having a happy and safe Fourth of July weekend!

11 comments:

still_figuring_out said...

hi. thanks for visiting my blog.

hope everything goes on well with your grandma.

i was thinking about taking up photography as well!

wish i had the time...*sigh*

Cjristina said...

You don't owe me anything but taking care of yourself! Have a fabulous Fourth of July! I'm sorry that your grandmother is fading faster than you anticipated. I know that your mom will be astounded at how much she'll need and depend on you when the time comes. I also know that you are up for any task, learning, etc. when you put your mind to it. Keep your head up. Love, Me

Shan'Chelle said...

Still Figuring Out - I really like your blog (and your picture next to your name) and am going to add it to my blogroll. Hope you don't mind. I am just hoping that when Grandma does go (which is pretty inevitable considering she is in Stage 3 cancer) that it is peaceful and that she is at ease. I have learned that I need to make time for myself, even if it means that I can't help others as much.

Cjristina - Your too sweet. I promise to take care of myself. My mind is way underused so I don't know what it is up for at this time, hopefully it will hold out with the excercise regime I am about to put it through! :-) Be ready to go out this week, I miss you.

still_figuring_out said...

don`t mind at all :)

Cjristina said...

Well, if I have to go out then I guess I'll just have to suffer!
;-) Just NOT MANTECA! For obvious reasons.

nutty said...

Cute kitty ... if only it was that easy for the rest of us to adapt to a new home.

Shan'Chelle said...

Yeah no kidding undies.....I think that if I could bottle that cats personality I could make millions selling it. Alas, I am lucky enough to be blessed with her in my life :-)

sqwerrl said...

sorry to hear about yer living situation and yer grandma.As u said maybe it's a higher reasoningfrom above that has landed u with yer parents.hope things start looking up fer u.

sqwerrl said...

p.s. yer cat is too cute!!!!

Avery's mom said...

self help book are great...have you found the one for people hooked on self help books? lol

I'm glad you are doing well with your parents. sometimes it's hard to get out of the " caretaker" mode and start doing things for you..that's kinda some of the stuff my shrink is telling me in regards to helping my mother with her MS.

Shan'Chelle said...

Sqwerrl - Thanks for stopping by. I appreciate your comments. Dorito knows just how cute she is but loves to have the adoration of strangers so she thanks you too. On a side note my mom has said that since I've been gone she tried to bring another mouse in the house and is completely covered with stickers. Bu bye long fur here comes the razor!

Robyn - No I haven't found the self help books to stop addiction to self help books. If I do I will send you one :-) I think your therapist sounds like they know what they are talking about. I am most worried about my mom since she moved up there because she always needs someone to take care of and I like my independence. I'll keep y'all posted on how it turns out though.