Wow....its been quite a week. Work is chugging along, and I have been getting more sleep than I could possibly need (for the most part) but I have also been working hard on staying positive and finding a way to realize my dreams. In the meantime I have spent some time chatting with some friends. It never ceases to amaze me the people that can be right under your nose for years that you fail to recognize or take the time to get to know. And I don't know why, but it doesn't cease to amaze me how you can long for something (and become so preoccupied with achieving it) that when one of these people lay it in front of you as an option or a challenge you can recoil almost instantly in fear. This has happened to me more than once this week. I make no pretenses about knowing how I want to live my life. I have a vague concept of what I want to achieve but really am still quite lost on how to get there or who to go with. So tell me, how is it that I can become so frightened and apprehensive when someone confirms my desires and their desire to make it happen?
Ok I know that I am rambling, and that this doesn't make a lot of sense to anybody except maybe Cjristina but I needed to get it out of my head. I feel as if I am in a really good place and that I am ready to forge on with my life, but there is always something holding me back (and surprisingly it is not what is usually holding me back...) Anyway, I started school this week. Unexpectedly, it was not hard for me to wake up this morning (I think because the weather is finally turning colder and it is a lovely overcast day outside...oh yeah and since I fell asleep at 9 o'clock last night!). I have finished one class this morning (Introduction to Logic) and am killing time while I wait for my next class to start (Principles of Microeconomics). My logic class was phenomenal (not to mention we have a hot grad student t.a. that I wouldn't mind getting to know ;->). When I walked in I struck up a conversation with the other people in the class (which is new for me, usually I just sit in the corner and don't say anything.....who says I'm not making progress) and I enjoyed the debate that ensued. As for my microeconomics class I do not know if I am so optomistic. We'll see how it goes.
So where do I go from here? Hopefully, that will soon become clear to me. Until then I plan to work towards my freedom from debt and dependency. The next eight weeks will be difficult because I will be in effect working 6 days a week, but hopefully my newfound friends and classmates will make the journey all the more enjoyable.
By the way, I am typing on an amazing keyboard right now. The keys are very crisp and clean and it just makes me want to buy a new one. Actually, I already wanted to buy a new one because I want a wireless keyboard and mouse so I never have to leave my bed (muwahahaha). Doesn't that sound just divine?
I guess thats all I have to say for now. Until next time remember: "Common sense is not so common. -Voltaire"
Saturday, September 10, 2005
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3 comments:
I'm so happy that things are starting to come together!
yeah me too...we'll see where it goes from here :-)
You're right. I knew what you meant.
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