Breaking away

Angels sometimes block our path because we are heading in the wrong direction.


- Ann Spangler,
"An Angel a Day"


Saturday, September 10, 2005

AQUARIUS (Jan 20 - Feb 18): There is intensity in your interaction with friends or family today as unexpected outbursts of energy can leave you wondering what happened. You have the ability to transform a difficult situation into something very positive as long as you are not attached to one specific outcome. It can be a trick to balance pointed intention with flexibility. If you can do this now, then you can do anything.

The thing I hate about being regular in my cycles is that I can fortell when I will have days such as these. In fact, I often bring them on after a bout of particularly happy circumstances. In my previous post I mentioned how someone had scared the crap out of me and I didn't know how to handle it. I figured out what I had to do and I did it....but it doesn't mean that it was easy on me. I wish I could say that I did it for the right reasons but I really did it to save myself from the pain and agony that would have only been worse if I had continued on my path. That brings me to the quote and horoscope above. I woke up today with a vague recollection of what I had said last night and knew that the response would be swift in that I would not hear from this person again. Its not that I wanted this to happen, just that I knew no way around it. That started me out on a very sad note today...turns out the cell phone I JUST got replaced was broken again so I decided to head into town to get it fixed. It would help me keep my mind off of what was going on and it was a beautiful day for a drive. It took a LONG time to get Verizon to exchange my phone and I was hungry. I wasn't ready to go home so I stopped at Subway where I inadvertantly hurt my mother's feelings. It was not intended and I felt very badly that she felt this way so I decided to go to wal-mart so I could find her a prize to take her. First I was going to give the library a shot to see if they were open on a Sunday. They weren't. When I got to Wal-Mart I wandered around the entire store and ended up buying my mom's gift and a new cd for myself. I have been trying to find Kelly Clarkson's song "Since You Been Gone" on the internet and have not found a good copy so I broke down and bought it :-P I had been listening to depressing music because I forgot my positive music at work so when I popped the cd in on the way home I was shocked to hear a song I had heard before but never really listened to. It was exactly what I was feeling. I got home and read an e-mail from a very good friend. It gave me the needed perspective I was looking for. Thanks Bobi! The just of it was: "What you need to understand is you are in control of your life, to accept help and not allow conditions, or to do it on your own and struggle a bit, and it's up to you to whether you allow "judgement" to come into play. You judge yourself much harsher than anyone else ever could, and that is your true issue." So did I do the right thing? I am absolutely positive that I did. Will people understand? Who cares....that is their problem not mine. I have to take care of myself.

Breakaway by Kelly Clarkson
"Breakaway"

Grew up in a small town
And when the rain would fall down
I'd just stare out my window
Dreaming of what could be
And if I'd end up happy
I would pray (I would pray)

Trying hard to reach out
But when I tried to speak out
Felt like no one could hear me
Wanted to belong here
But something felt so wrong here
So I prayed I could break away

[Chorus:]
I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly
I'll do what it takes til' I touch the sky
I'll make a wish
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway
Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won't forget all the ones that I love
I'll take a risk
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway

Wanna feel the warm breeze
Sleep under a palm tree
Feel the rush of the ocean
Get onboard a fast train
Travel on a jet plane, far away (I will)
And breakaway

[Chorus]

Buildings with a hundred floors
Swinging around revolving doors
Maybe I don't know where they'll take me but
Gotta keep moving on, moving on
Fly away, breakaway

I'll spread my wings
And I'll learn how to fly
Though it's not easy to tell you goodbye
I gotta take a risk
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway
Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won't forget the place I come from
I gotta take a risk
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway, breakaway, breakaway