Well it is almost the last day of the year and I have been inspired to do one last post of the year. Its been hit or miss for me blogwise this year but I am happy to squeeze one more in under the wire :-)
Year in review:
2006 has had a lot of ups and downs. I am not really sure what to say about it so I think I'm going to do this is a sort of stream of conciousness style so bear with me....
Lost some friends…on the other hand I also lost some people who were just pretending to be friends.
Lost my grandma, lost my first cat, lost my soul mate Ree Ree all in the same month. That was a really bad month. I am still recovering from that one.
Found some old friends and made them new, found some new friends and began to make them old, found out which friends were really true…kept them close to my heart even if I couldn’t have them in my life like before.
This year I began to go after what I wanted…then I got scared and reverted back to old patterns. In the midst of all this I began to realize that no matter how much I tried to screw my life up, this year it wasn’t working. It makes me think that I had some special energy in the universe looking out for me. Maybe that goes back to the second line of this rambling overview…maybe, just maybe, those we love are never lost they just cease to be seen. Hmm…that’s a good one to ponder for 2007.
This year I began to be honest with myself about what I want for my life and myself. I got accepted into the Respiratory Therapy program and finished the first semester. It was easier than I imagined in some ways…and harder than I thought in other ways. One semester down, three to go. Most importantly I will finally have a degree before I pass thirty!
For a good part of the year I battled loneliness in a new place with a new job and an uncertain future. I am winning…for now…but I think….no I KNOW…that this is a battle I will fight right into 2007 and beyond.
The holiday season this year was kind of sad; completely foreign. Without Grandma it was as if we were floating without an anchor. Thanksgiving my mom dad and I took the 8 hour jaunt on down to L.A. to spend time with my brother. It was so much fun but we didn’t have nearly enough time. We went back to the happiest place on earth for the first time since New Years 2005. I became a pirate princess and found out what its like to have a good time when your not worried about trying to make sure someone who didn’t even want to be there has a good time. I think Buzz Lightyear said it best…TO INFINITY, AND BEYOND!!!!!!!!! That’s my new motto for the rest of my life. Some things I learned there:
1. Don’t put 5 big people in one boat on splash mountain and think you might just get “wet”. You are going to get soaked so for Buddha’s sake don’t take your digital camera and cell phone with you!
2. ALWAYS take someone who needs a wheelchair with you when your going. If no one needs a wheelchair invest the 35 dollars in getting one anyway….it will make your day go a hell of a lot faster!
3. California Adventure closes at 10…so make sure you get there before it closes
4. Always stay at the Sheraton…they have nice rooms for a decent price.
5. The busses come every 30 minutes…be prepared to wait a full 30 minutes when you are ready to go because without fail you will miss every bus you try to catch by 1-2 minutes.
We should have went back for Christmas because there was no way we could create a “normal” Christmas without grandma and were doomed to disappointment with how different the day was. That and I had 5 days off instead of 2….it didn’t even feel like the holidays this year. I spent the 5 days in a haze and went back to work feeling like I didn’t have any time off.
This was also the year of the baby…thankfully not my baby! Babies all around and for the first time in many years that does not depress me. The most special baby is my best friend’s dream come true…A lil’ one that will bless us with its presence in ’07 and whom I will love like my own because I’m pretty sure I have decided that I am never going to have my own.
The coming years bring uncertainty but with this uncertainty comes the possibility for true happiness. This is a possibility that I can’t pass up. Sure I may not find true happiness but if I don’t look then I don’t even have the possibility. I just have to get past my greatest enemy...myself!