You Know You're A Nurse When..

To All My Friends Who Are Nurses .... or anyone you know who is a Nurse.

You know you are a Nurse if............

Did you hear about the nurse who died and went straight to hell?? It took
her two weeks to realize she wasn't at work!

You know you're a nurse if.....

You would like to meet the inventor of the call light some night in a dark
alley.

Your sense of humor gets more warped each year.

Almost everything can seem humorous....eventually.

You know the smell of different diarrhea to identify it.

You can tell the pharmacist more about the medication they are dispensing
than they know.

You check the caller id on your day off to see if anyone from the
hospital is trying to call and ask you to work.

You've been telling stories in a restaurant and made someone at another
table throw up.

You notice that you are using more 4 letter words than you did before you
started nursing.

Everytime someone asks you for a pen you can find at least 4 of them on you.

You live by the motto "to be right is only half the battle, to convince the
doctor is more difficult"

You've told a confused patient that your name was that of your coworker
and to holler if they
need help.

Your bladder can expand to the size of a winnebago's water tank.

You find yourself checking out other customers veins in grocery waiting
lines.

You avoid unhealthy looking shoppers in the mall for fear that they will
drop near you and
you'll have to do CPR on your day off.

Your finger has gone places you never thought possible.

You have seen more penises than any prostitute.

If you are not a nurse and have been sent this by a friend who is, its just
to help you understand our mindset and questionable mental status/sanity.

Most of the time we function in spite of this sick sense of humor, fairly
normally and very responsibly. Believe me, this is how we think, ALL THE
TIME. Scary huh??