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Sunday, April 27, 2008

The BandAid Theory

Courtesy of my fellow "RTsian" Rizzo some good advice that I feel needs to be passed on :-)


In our lives we have relationships: good, bad, amazing, ugly, stupid, a week or a few years, but mostly all are life changing. Maybe life changing in a small way. Maybe, now, you always remember to tell the person you like something nice everyday, or maybe something changed you as a whole person. Either way when we are in a relationship that ends, few of us are immediately "ok". I have had 1 in about a million where we were both just wanting out and back to being just friends. And that guy and I never even kissed, so we were basically never much more then friends. Point is, you get hurt. No matter if you were the one broken up with or the one doing the breaking up, it all hurts. And since mommy isn't around to kiss our wounds and make us feel all better, we ALL do what comes naturally... enter the bandaid.
Now don't get me wrong, they are great. Come in many different forms. They could be a drink or 12 lol, hanging out with friends all hours of the day, a brand new person to help get over the old one, and unfortunently sometimes it can be hurting the person that hurt you with mean words or actions. Mostly, the band aid helps ease the pain and helps you forget the pain while you heal. Here is our problem...
Bandaids are supposed to come off. Wether you chose the good bandaids, or the bad ones, they are not permenant. sorry i can't spell :) . The drinking should subside, alone time should start to feel good again, you realize you don't need to date everyone that gives you attention and the hurtful words should be followed with a sorry and never said again. You need to cry, you need to talk to people, you need to lay alone in bed and wake up to noone. It will hurt. But the bandaid won't come off easily. Taking bandaids off still sucks. And too often we make them more like a skin grapht. Then we just start stock piling bandaids and stick them over eachother, one by one until our original scar is so covered up, you don't even know if it's any better, if the bandaids did their job.
And it's ok to take them off at your own pace. Maybe fast is your thing. Maybe you would rather get it over with and let the wound get some air, and start healing now. And if you want to take it off slowly, that's ok too, it's your bandaid. But remember, breaking up with someone, no matter how much it sucks and no matter how much you didn't want it, always comes with a free lesson. And if you are so busy covering your hurt up and recovering with yet another band aid, you will never see it. You'll never grow and the next relationship you are in, and yes, you will be in another one, you'll be the same hurt person you were at the end of the last one, or the one before that.
So it's ok to be mad, and hurt and scared, but take some you time, learn, grow, heal and for god's sake, take your band aids off before you put the next one on.

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