| Here's the Story of the Day: |
| Equal Treatment |
| Why do they treat us like children? they said & I said why do you treat them like adults? & their eyes opened wide & they began to laugh & talk all at once & suddenly everything looked possible again. |
| How You Are In Love |
 You fall in love quickly and easily. And very often. You tend to give more than take in relationships. You tend to get very attached when you're with someone. You want to see your love all the time. You love your partner unconditionally and don't try to make them change. You stay in love for a long time, even if you aren't loved back. When you fall, you fall hard. |
Ten years ago, I set out to examine luck.
I wanted to know why some people are always in the right place at the right time, while others consistently experience ill fortune.
I placed advertisements in national newspapers asking for people who felt consistently lucky or unlucky to contact me.
Hundreds of extraordinary men and women volunteered for my research and, over the years, I have interviewed them, monitored their lives and had them take part in experiments.
The results reveal that although these people have almost no insight into the causes of their luck, their thoughts and behaviour are responsible for much of their good and bad fortune.
Take the case of seemingly chance opportunities. Lucky people consistently encounter such opportunities, whereas unlucky people do not. 
Those who have succeeded at anything and don't mention luck are kidding themselves 
Larry King
I carried out a simple experiment to discover whether this was due to differences in their ability to spot such opportunities.
I gave both lucky and unlucky people a newspaper, and asked them to look through it and tell me how many photographs were inside.
I had secretly placed a large message halfway through the newspaper saying: "Tell the experimenter you have seen this and win £250." 
Professor Wiseman's formula came too late for some...
This message took up half of the page and was written in type that was more than two inches high.
Anxiety
It was staring everyone straight in the face, but the unlucky people tended to miss it and the lucky people tended to spot it.
Unlucky people are generally more tense than lucky people, and this anxiety disrupts their ability to notice the unexpected. Everything in life is luck
Donald Trump
As a result, they miss opportunities because they are too focused on looking for something else.
They go to parties intent on finding their perfect partner and so miss opportunities to make good friends.
They look through newspapers determined to find certain types of job advertisements and miss other types of jobs.
Self-fulfilling prophecies
Lucky people are more relaxed and open, and therefore see what is there rather than just what they are looking for.
My research eventually revealed that lucky people generate good fortune via four principles. Luck is believing you're lucky
Tennessee Williams
They are skilled at creating and noticing chance opportunities, make lucky decisions by listening to their intuition, create self-fulfilling prophesies via positive expectations, and adopt a resilient attitude that transforms bad luck into good.
Towards the end of the work, I wondered whether these principles could be used to create good luck.
I asked a group of volunteers to spend a month carrying out exercises designed to help them think and behave like a lucky person.
Dramatic results
These exercises helped them spot chance opportunities, listen to their intuition, expect to be lucky, and be more resilient to bad luck.
One month later, the volunteers returned and described what had happened. The results were dramatic: 80% of people were now happier, more satisfied with their lives and, perhaps most important of all, luckier. I am a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work, the more I have of it
Thomas Jefferson
The lucky people had become even luckier and the unlucky had become lucky.
Finally, I had found the elusive "luck factor" .
Here are Professor Wiseman's four top tips for becoming lucky:
It's strange to hear your voice
I did not expect for you to call
You wonder how I'm doin
How I'm holdin up
Since you did me wrong
[chorus]
Well how am I doin' since you did what you done to me?
I can't lie I sometimes cry when I think of how it used to be
I keep my friends with me, I stay busy and I don't get much sleep
Baby, that's how I'm doin since you did what you done to me
Well now wait one minute, I
Failed to mention
Those tears I cried, are tears of joy
Cause' it was no fun there
Under your thumb and
Now that we're done I'm
Gettin' right every night
With every single ever-lovin' girl in sight, so
[chorus]
Well when all my friends heard what a
You know what you were they
Took me out on the town
But then I heard our song and
I danced along but
It felt all wrong cause'
She was sweet, she let me lead
She never took her ever-lovin' eyes off me so
[chorus]
Well I don't know what you were thinkin'
Runnin' round on me
Now you say you're sorry
Well honey....I agree...so
How are you doin' since you did
What you done to me
Girl don't lie you know you cry
Cause' you know how good it used to be
Yeah, tell me does the thought of
Losin' my true love make it hard to sleep, baby
How are you doin' since you did
What you done to me
Yeah how are you doin', now that you know
How I'm doin since you did
What you done to me
| Which dysfunctional Barbie are you? Transgender Barbie You're a little confused, but that's not gonna stop you from saving up for your sex change. You like to party and make single, young men extremely uncomfortable.
|
| Click Here to Take This Quiz Brought to you by YouThink.com quizzes and personality tests. |
I thought I saw a man brought to life
He was warm, he came around like he was dignified
He showed me what it was to cry
Well you couldn’t be that man I adored
You don’t seem to know, don’t seem to care what your heart is for
But I don’t know him anymore
There’s nothing where he used to lie
My conversation has run dry
That’s what’s going on, nothing’s fine I’m torn
I’m all out of faith, this is how I feel
I’m cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed into something real
I’m wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn
You’re a little late, I’m already torn
So I guess the fortune teller’s right
Should have seen just what was there and not some holy light
To crawl beneath my veins and now
I don’t care, I have no luck, I don’t miss it all that much
There’s just so many things that I can’t touch, I’m torn
I’m all out of faith, this is how I feel
I’m cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed into something real
I’m wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn
You’re a little late, I’m already torn. torn.
There’s nothing where he used to lie
My inspiration has run dry
That’s what’s going on, nothings right, I’m torn
I’m all out of faith, this is how I feel
I’m cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed into something real
I’m wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn
I’m all out of faith, this is how I feel
I’m cold and I’m ashamed bound and broken on the floor
You’re a little late, I’m already torn
Here's the Story of the Day: |
| impossibly balanced between her memories of herself & her mirror in real life |
1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me alone. 2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire. 3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it. 4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted. 5. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else. 6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet. 7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments. 8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes. 9. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. 10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. 11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it. 12. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything. 13. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield. 14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them. 15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket. 16. A closed mouth gathers no foot. 17. Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together. 18. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.! 19. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving. 20. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it. 21. Never miss a good chance to shut up. 22. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. |
The Flute Tooter
A Tutor who tooted a flute
tried to tutor two tooters to toot.
Said the two to their tutor,
“Is it harder to toot
Friday:
Are you ready?
Raleigh, are you already ready?
Are you really ready, Raleigh?
Raleigh’s really ready, Riley.
Riley, Raleigh’s already ready!
Psychologists say that attitudes we form in childhood can actually cause us to push our significant others away, making true intimacy harder to achieve. But with some introspection and a willingness to be vulnerable, couples can become closer.
Based on a decades-long study of married couples and their children, Robert W. Firestone, PhD, and Joyce Catlett, authors of Fear of Intimacy, believe that self-damning behaviors and attitudes are often passed from parents to children, and that these messages often block true intimacy between adult couples.
For example, shortly after John married Sally, he passionately told her one night he loved her long, blonde hair, especially when it was flowing over her shoulders. John confessed he especially liked her locks just after they made love.
The next day, Sally went to the beauty shop and had her hair cut short. When John saw it, he was shocked and felt like a rug had been pulled from under him. He felt anger start to rise, but then saw how pleased Sally was with the new hairdo and said nothing. But he felt distanced from her.
Later, Sally recalled that as a child her mother frequently told her that she was quiet and ugly. Unbeknownst to Sally, that message stuck with her into adulthood. John's passionate admiration clashed with the deeply instilled "ugly" message, so Sally unconsciously set out to maintain her unflattering image by cutting her cherished hair.
In a child's mind, the parent is always perfect, so children blame themselves for parental faults and weaknesses, say some experts.
"Small things can last a lifetime," says Catlett. "Sometimes children just pick up negative attitudes about themselves and about how their parents treat each other."
"We grow up emotionally guarded and identifying with the powerful people who had control over us," Catlett says. And, writes Dr. Firestone, "A child might even take on all the anger, aggression, hostility and even guilt that a parent or caregiver might be feeling."
Those attitudes, the researchers say, can contribute largely to an adult's self-image. Often, a child will hear and adopt her mother's or father's opinions and continue venting them for life.
Messages commonly passed on to girls may include:
Messages commonly passed on to boys include:
When a child who has heard these messages becomes an adult and selects a mate, that mate often resembles a parent or other significant caregiver. That happens because the person, and his or her personality, is familiar.
Thus, many couples feel they are connected to each other and fall into "we think," "we are," and "we like" attitudes. But Dr. Firestone and Catlett say that is actually a fantasy connection.
The cure and eventual intimacy comes when couples start to see their parents realistically as flawed humans with faults and weaknesses, as well as strengths. The next step is to use the same insights on their mates and themselves.
In Dr. Firestone's book and practice, the key to becoming closer is a technique known as "voice therapy," in which couples disclose negative attitudes and deeply held beliefs about themselves.
For instance, when Sally got her hair cut short, she could reveal how her family considered her the ugly one. John might disclose that he still puts women on a pedestal and cannot direct anger toward them because he idealized his mother.
Yet another man discovered he had a distorted view of men, women, and his lady love because his mother always said all men were weak, spineless and had to grovel to cope in the world.
Another school of thought says that couples can become closer by celebrating the differences between them.
Judith Sherven, PhD, and Jim Sniechowski, PhD, a husband and wife team, wrote two books on intimacy, host a radio show, and have a website dedicated to helping people become closer to their mates.
"Our approach is designed to prevent your relationship from becoming sick," says Dr. Sniechowski. To accomplish this, Dr. Sherven and Dr. Sniechowski provide some hints on simple things you can do to increase intimacy.
Some of the more popular tips include:
Resources
Fear of Intimacy, by Robert Firestone and Joyce Catlett. American Psychological Association, 1999.
The New Intimacy: Discovering the Magic at the Heart of Your Differences, by Judith Sherven and James Sniechowski. Health Communications, 1997.
Go Away, Come Closer: When What You Need the Most Is What You Fear the Most, by Terry Hershey. Hershey & Associates, 1990.
As it turns out, I was not alone. My first inkling of this came when I invited my best friend Susan to accompany me to a cancer fund-raiser. One step ahead of me in her own journey through breast cancer, she tried to beg off. Didn’t she want the inspiration? “I find it exhausting,” she replied, explaining that she was tired of being asked to go to war when her own sense of healing had more to do with nurturing herself than taking up the battle. For 25 years, Susan had studied with the Sufi teacher Pir Vilayat Inayat Khan. While I, a Jew, pursued my masters in religious studies at Vanderbilt, and Susan completed her doctorate in education, we had spent long, delicious hours discussing philosophy and spirituality in meandering walks and over tea. We never expected to have to continue our conversations at bedside while one or the other of us went through various stages of treatment and recovery for our breast cancers.
Over the coming months and years, Susan and I began to speak a new language for healing with each other, calling upon our respective spiritual traditions for inspiration. We spoke of illness not as a test of survivorship--but as an initiation into the deeper mysteries of life. For us, life-threatening illness carried with it spiritual dimensions that the current disease culture did not come close to addressing.
As we began to share our ideas with others, we realized that we were not the only ones who were seeking new and better ways to talk about serious illness. The people we encountered represented many diagnoses, religions, and lifestyles, and included both women and men of a variety of ages. What we shared was this: rather than go through serious illness unchanged, we wanted to be transformed by it--to ask and answer the biggest questions about mortality and meaning, and to find new resources of faith and peace--regardless of our prognosis.I met the fourth of our quartet of authors, Reverend Doctor Karen Leigh Stroup, in an unplanned moment in the chemotherapy treatment room at Vanderbilt Hospital. She had been diagnosed with breast cancer while pursuing her doctorate in religion at Vanderbilt several years earlier. Karen, who has outlived her most serious prognosis first by months and now by years, reached out to me at a particularly scary moment to inspire me with the ability to hope against the odds. As the four of us have deepened our friendships, Karen, a Christian and an ordained minister, has brought her bright spirit and unflagging courage to us all, demonstrating that the spiritual approach we were sharing could hold up under the most serious of circumstances.
Drawing on our divergent experiences and perspectives, we set out to see if we could identify some common landmarks in our journey through serious illness. Together, we identified five broad steps: psychological and spiritual stages that we had all encountered during the evolution of our relationships to our illness. From the impact and chaos of the earlier stages, to the challenges of making choices, the gathering of community, and finally the encounter with a more mature spirituality: we named this model "A Pathway to Spirit: The Five Stages of Transformation."Tuesday's Tongue Twister
If a Doctor Doctors
If one doctor doctors another doctor, does the doctor
who doctors the doctor doctor the doctor the way the
doctor he is doctoring doctors? Or does he doctor
the doctor the way the doctor who doctors doctors?
I don't think I like that murderous glint in her eye ;-)
For customer service week my job has started posting tongue twisters for us to improve out telephone speaking skills. Thought y'alls tongues should get a work out too for whatever purposes you may see fit ;-)
Betty Botter
Betty Botter had some butter,
“But,” she said, “this butter’s bitter.
If I bake this bitter butter,
it would make my batter bitter.
But a bit of better butter —
that would make my batter better.”
So she bought a bit of butter,
better than her bitter butter,
and she baked it in her batter,
and the batter was not bitter.
So ’twas better Betty Botter
bought a bit of better butter.
